Saturday, December 15, 2012

My heart is breaking

The tragedy in Newtown, CT has me in tears. I can not comprehend why this has happened. This post is not about my fight or anything to do with breast cancer, but this blog has been my therapy, and right now I need therapy. Hearing the details make me sick. 20 babies, shot, crying, screaming, it is not ok and how can I be ok. I am struggling to be ok, my girls, so innocent, know nothing about what has happened, so I try not to cry in front of them, but I am sad, heartbroken, and I feel so guilty. Guilty that my kids are safe, guilty when I get mad because their rooms are a mess. Guilty because I am a mom, who still has my kids to hug. But I see on tv that it's us, the adults who are all feeling this guilt, carrying the weight of this tragedy while protecting our children from the news, because, why do my 4 and 7 year old need to know that someone would do this at a school? So I carry this sadness, and I cry with the door closed, and I hug them extra tight as they sleep. I pray for the families, the town, the mom's that lost their babies, and I promise to hug mine extra tight and kiss them and tell them I love them...


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