Saturday, March 31, 2012

I did my hair... Yes at 11pm, I can't sleep!

So I dusted off my blow dryer, flat iron, and anti frizz spray and actually played with my hair! Not a lot to work with, but I could do it. Slowly but surely it's getting there, and as vain as it may sound, I am really grateful. You can't really tell in the picture, but I look in the mirror and I see me again.

Then I gave myself a facial!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Lots of good news and a little bad

So I'll start with the bad news, I met with my surgeon yesterday in hope of having my drain tubes removed, but it didn't happen. As a reminder, the drain tubes and inside and outside of my body with a "bulb" bag like thing that collects blood and fluid draining from my surgery. They wrap around my chest wall internally, and if a move a certain way, the poke and hurt. And where they come out it an open hole on the side of my body. I have 2 tubes,and they make me miserable. So that's the bad news.

Now the good news, I am healing amazingly well. My surgeon was able to remove the stitches from both the left and right side. He said that he has never been able to remove stitches from a radiated side so quickly. My skin it stretching well so far, and I have nearly no bruising.

Second bit of good news, I got my pathology back from my mastectomy side and it was all clear. Not even 1 pre cancerous cell detected! Just regular, healthy, and breast tissue. Which is exactly what you want. I now have no breast tissue, hopefully removing that risk of breast cancer.

I am still weak, tired, and in pain, but like my surgeon reminded me, that is why I am off work. I'm not supposed to feel better yet. The incisions and manipulation of my body alone will weaken me for weeks, not counting the effect of the anesthesia, I was under over 4 hours... So I guess that's why I still feel so out it.. It's just hard being a mom of 3 remembering that I have to take it slow...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Yes they're fake, my real ones tried to kill me

Well I made it through my second mastectomy and began my reconstruction and I must say, it is way more painful. Not only do I have the mastectomy pain, but I guess the expanders are placed under the chest muscle so they manipulate the whole chest area leaving me very sore and in a lot of pain. Trying to keep it under control but unfortunately the pain and discomfort just makes me irritable and grouchy. I feel bad because my girls missed me so much and just wanted me home, and I'm feeling so bad, I just get angry. I try to explain to them that I love them very much, right now I'm just tired and I will feel better soon. Poor things, I wish I could hug them, but I'm too sore. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Monday, March 19, 2012

OK, breakdown in the shower

Had a little meltdown in the shower, I just got sad again. Silly or not, I said goodbye to my breast. I remember nursing my girls, my milk coming in, they served me well and did a great job, and I'm sad to lose something that is so closely linked to my babies. And tonight my girls said goodbye to their boppy too. It was their one reassurance throughout this past year, they would always say we still have one boppy. So I got sad.

Another mastectomy

So tomorrow I will have another mastectomy, my right noncancerous breast. I'm a little anxious, but not to bad, probably the most calm before a surgery. I will go in tomorrow at 8:30 for surgery ay 11:30am. Surgery should take about 4 hours (simple mastectomy with beginning of reconstruction to both sides) and I should be discharged by noon on Wednesday. I'll update after surgery.

Thursday, March 8, 2012


Today I felt the wind blow through my hair! Click here to view my thank you video