Cancer-versary

So, I thought I was ready, I thought I was strong, but I am having a really hard time tonight. Today is my 1 year cancer-anniversary . I am sad and moody, and I cry, and I feel like I am being mean to my girls, and I'm scared, all over again. But in a different way from last year. I find myself crying, uncontrollably sobbing, and I keep reliving that day, I hear it over and over again, "it's cancer", and I mourn the innocence I had, the carefree life of not worrying about the cancer coming back, or worse passing some horrible, mean, unfair gene. I miss just worrying about money and cleaning, now I worry about the regular everyday stuff, plus all the crazy in my head. I miss my breast, I miss my ovaries. I know with time it will get better, I will get better, stronger, but for today and for now, I'm... I don't know...