Since I've been busy, I haven't had a lot of me time, which is good, because me time often makes me think, and thinking too much makes me sad. The weekend left me pretty exhausted, and yesterday international news made me anxious about retaliation, and when you already have anxiety, news like that can send your thoughts into a tailspin. I almost wanted to keep the kids home from school, but I realized that it would be ok and sent them to school. I need to be careful though because, I do see my anxiety rubbing off on my 5 y/o.
It's been almost 2 months since my surgery but tonight I cried, not because I missed my hair (which sounds vain, but is the #2 trigger for crying after my girls) but because I really missed my breast. And I so avoid looking at my chest and my remaining breast. And I know I am going to lose my right breast, so in a strange way I have been avoiding it. But tonight, I remembered breast feeding my babies and the dreaded bathing suit seasons when at least my boobs looked good. And I miss looking like I used to.
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